I’m gonna be upfront about this section, it’s not gonna be high octane, adrenalin pumping stories of drunkenness, amazing excursions and stupidity you’ve got used to. We’ve left Queenstown or as I like to say to Adam F, the queens have been taken out of the town.

After an emotional goodbye to some of people who were lucky enough to stay a bit longer in Queenstown, we are greeted by something that if you showed it to someone from the 1920s they would faint in sheer terror……….A WOMAN COACH DRIVER!
That’s right we have a female at the wheel of a 52 seat coach, no surprise for me we’ve seen them before however the only person to make a sexist joke was a woman, pomdayank, “are women allowed to drive buses?!” point one to feminism! (secretly love it!!)

All joking aside, are women allowed to drive buses? Again I joke.

She was lovely looked a bit like a young Sally Philips of Smack the Pony and Miranda fame, she drove better than captain combover and sounded like she was on capital fm. She had a bit of a wicked sense of humour as she told everyone to be back in 20 mins after a stop and then pretended to leave them behind cos they were late. (again secretly loved that!)

We head over to Lake Tekapo where we go pass Mount Cook, the highest mountain peak in New Zealand. Photos ahoy at the next stop!
What can I say about Lake Tekapo……. It’s a lake and that’s about it, the lodge we stayed at, was nice and homely but they were mega strict for some random reason. Although it was quite funny when we saw the most miserable bulldog on earth, it was a sign.
You can go on a scenic flight around the lake and mountain, go to the hot springs or stargazing. We did none of this. After the thrill of the rest of the tour this just seemed like a chillout and detox point.

We had a nice walk around the lake, played skipping stones and basically watched PETE and Maclauy launch stones like something out of Superman, go boys!

Shortly after we hiked up the hill and just appreciated the scenery, photographed ducks and laid on a stony beach. We then deciding to go shopping at sunset and I know they don’t want loads of streetlight as its expensive and ruins the view of the stars, fuck the stars. When I fall in a ditch and break my ankle cos I can’t see where I’m going, whose gonna find me under starlight?!?

I was in bed by 9:30 it was that riveting there. Did I mention my arm was still hurting after the jet boat in Westport! Seriously elbow Sarah would be proud.

We are now at Christchurch, I really don’t know what to say after walking around the town a lot of things came to light. We’ve down this awesome tour of the country and to end here just reminds you despite the fun and frolics of the country, there’s devastation as well. As you’ll know the city was hit by an earthquake in 2011 and 185 people died, the youngest being 5 weeks old.

To honour the dead, there’s an art exhibit in the middle of town where 185 empty chairs are on display, bit upsetting when you see a rocking chair and a booster seat next to each other.

Before we see all that we walk past a half demolished church, derelict buildings and just empty streets. But being new Zealand nothing really goes to waste, some of the levelled areas have pop up restaurants/bar, large scale sculptures and even an open air disco where you can plug in any device and play music (Jamelia Superstar anyone?)! It is still weird to walk round with people that have visited here before and saying what was around before, it’s a shell of it’s former self, but still trying to pick up the pieces and move on. There’s even a massive party scene here!

So not only is this my last stop on this journey it’s also the most depressing as I’ve come to a city that’s not quite itself and I now lose a lot of people as they go to other cities and countries. The tour has officially finished.

I don’t know what else to suggest but you can go to Kaikoura and do a fishing trip and whale watching however, I missed this as I was under the impression I’d be leaving new Zealand in a few days.
Oh good lord thanks STA what am I going to do for 3 WEEKS instead of going in 4 days!

So that’s the end of the trip, not exactly a thrill but definitely an eye opener, onto Auckland again and to figure out what to do…..

So follow me to the next section …..WHAT THE F*CK AM I GOING TO DO NEXT!