Anyway after all the high adrenalin of whistler, it’s time to chill out back in Vancouver for one more night and even end up seeing some of the people from the moose travel shop.
I have to admit, I did something that I hate doing but thought why not, I had …….A BEACH DAY! For those of you that know me, I’m not a massive beach fan, I don’t need a tan, I can’t read a book in the heat and my nipples only come out in case of an emergency only.
Like Miranda once said, what is the point of beaches, see the below:

“Beaches? Try to put towel down, immediate gust of wind, towel in face! Tuck towel into sand, sit down, have an ice lolly! WASP! WASP! Stand Up to bat wasp away! oh no sand on towel now flap towel to rid sand, sand in face, sand on lolly, WASP, WASP! ABORT! ABORT!!!"

However it was fun, just people watching and enjoying two different beaches in Vancouver, first beach was 2nd Beach in the north west and the second in south west named Kits Beach. Worth checking both of these out although Kits was nicer and was on the otherside of bridge and you get a nice view of the main district there. My day was rounded off with another subway, seriously it’s the only thing I eat any more and it some how keeps the weight off, Idris Elba watch out!
Now, i think the after effects of my smother dropping me as a baby, its finally knocked me around for six as I stupidly booked a flight at 6am, all for the sake of saving $140 on the flight. Thank you Smother, I’m gladly matching you in sleepless nights for the labour you went through to push me out into the world!
So here I am, Vancouver international airport, “sleeping” on a bench and getting confused with dribble down my left side, I feel comatosed.
I have to fly from Vancouver to the dreaded LAX to NY-JFK, flight one was simple enough although I managed to get an Indian family invading my space and somehow, made me walk behind them to baggage claim, seriously guys, 9 family members can go in single file or twos. And someone get a wheelchair for the old bird, that one beer on the plane, has got her all over the place.

Well for those who have read the LA blog, you’ll remember I had a “memorable” time, well it’s never disappoints but yet it seemed to redeem itself in a weird way. I got distracted while I was waiting for my connecting flight, however I was in the wrong terminal, waiting for the wrong flight and already late. SWEET JESUS!
I have never waddled so fast in my life, from terminal 6 to terminal 4, I’m sweating, panting, shoving kids out of the way (for the sake of it) and here comes the redemption bit. My flight is DELAYED, again SWEET JESUS! Never before has a person been so relieved to hear their flight is delayed by 1.5 hours.
Actually it went from 1.5 to 4.5 hours, mmmmm, thank you LA and NYC thunderstorms, all that sweat down my back was for nothing. So what to do, well back to people watching…….oh what I sight within a space of a hour, I see Common, Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child and the non-Thor Hemsworth brother! Oh joy, I can tolerate you now LA!

Now for every positive factor in my life, chaos theory has to balance out the fact I saw so many celebrities, you guessed right, I lost my other bank card! I don’t know how I do it, wish I could blame drink but the most potent thing in my system is a peach iced green tea!
So after a 5.5 hour flight I arrive in JFK at 1am, I’ve been up for 36 hours now, puffy eyes like my hay fever has gone on overdrive and I smell like I’ve been up for 72 hours. Wait have I been up 72 hours?! The time difference, clocks, my brain has turned into mush.
So my second yellow cab, but I feel like a real new Yorker as I’m telling the cab driver my life story, (much to his dislike) and watching the tv in the back, is this to stop people from talking to the driver?!? Oh well I’ll switch it of, “mister taxi driver, you want to hear more of my celeb spotting ramble and how I almost had a photo with a DC member if it wasn’t for my plane call?”
I arrive at New York Loft Hostel (http://www.nylofthostel.com/), I have to say I’ve already dreamed of living in a loft conversion in New York after watching BIG or any movie with middle upper class with more money than sense, and when I booked this, I almost died. I highly recommend this place it’s relatively cheap, near the L line, well decorated and chilled. There’s the usual arty hipster touch to everything, a massive beer garden, loft sundeck with table tennis, stainless steel kitchen, massive tv room and everything you could need.
Anyway enough drooling, time to take to the streets, now as I said never judge a book by its cover unless it’s magazine and Brooklyn is magazine, with a book inside with a £5 winning scratch card. Every little street has a hidden shop that has a upmarket deli in it or a warehouse with apartments, arcade and gym inside, I thought I was walking into a simple café and before I knew it, I was in a rave, bit early for 1pm, I’ll come back after
lunch.
I’m going to say sorry now but things are going to be a bit mundane after this, the jokes won’t be coming thick and fast (did they even come thick and fast before?!) I need to stop typing thick and fast!

N.Y.C.K.E.Y MOUSE Day 1

da starts fresh, relaxed and on a high note, one of my friends from Sydney is back home, the ever fun and charming Maximus Funinmus! From Brooklyn to South Ferry in 40 mins, such fun, the weirdest part of this journey is that I felt like I been here before, like a dirtier, lively version of the underground.
So I meet Maximus and then he tells home he has a surprise…ANOTHER SYDNEY VETERAN, jeez they are coming out of the wood work.
So here’s the criteria of the day:
Staten Island Ferry to see statue of liberty -you can pay for a more up close encounter, but fuck it I have zoom on this camera, it’s free and on a tight budget!
After the ferry a brisk walk to Battery Park, leading onto Wall Street (plus stock exchange building) and then subway to Chelsea Market – for an iced coffee.
You do however need to head to Artichoke (http://www.artichokepizza.com/) – BEST AND BIGGEST PIZZA EVER!

Then onto Highline walk which is a old rail-line converted to a high line garden walk way which leads to Hudson River /redevelopment project – place that was up for development for Olympics 2022.
From there you can walk a few blocks east and end up near Madison Square Garden and onto the shopaholics heaven and hell aka Macy’s.
We also walked past the evil establishment also known as The DMV – wonder if Patti and Selma are working?

After all that excitement we head to East Williamsburg for an outdoor cinema and a hipster drinking and sight seeing tour, seriously green trainers and that hat?! Puhh-lease! Hehe
The day/ night was just amazing although things got a bit hazy until I purchased a hot dog which I almost gagged on (oh stop laughing…..dirty child) and I had an encounter with my first stalker. I’m still freaked out, this woman wouldn’t leave me alone, I had to change carriages just to get rid of her and like something out of a Stephen king novel she was
there again! SCREAM, I NEED AN ADULT!

well it’s time to catch up on sleep, so as much as I want to see the city, I rather look my best in case in see any more celebs or my spotted by a talent agent whose looking for models. The subway diet, I can see myself as the before picture 🙂

Ok criteria for day 2:

Walk through Brooklyn (not scary at all, if anything I walked through so many communities it was enlightening, smiling to everyone like I’m in my own pop video).

Walk across Manhattan Bridge and onto Chinatown, Soho and Union Square, where I went to a proper deli, even got a gherkin on the side.
My legs are like steel today, must have walked at least 9 miles today, just on sight seeing, I hope whoever I end up with, likes thick chunky legs to rival Chun Li…. I also celebrate like her whenever I win something, YAH-TA!
Ok here comes the ultimate day, prepare the red bull, coffee and sunny d shot!

Day 3 Criteria

Start off by heading to The Bronx – just so can say

“I’m just Marvy from the block, looking for some “

Long walk from north Central park to bottom leading to 50/49th street which is a few blocks from ……….. (insert angelic gospel music here) 30 rock.

SCREAM I can’t even express how excited I am, I’m at the home to the birthplace to comedic talent, SNL. You can do several tours here, I did the NBC tour and the top of the rock, you can buy these as packages and go to other places but I have too much to do. I didn’t get to see Tina Fey, but we did see some of the newscasters, I would have been excited but I don’t know them! Note you can obviously go to Empire State Building for Views but been told the view is better at 30 rock and cheaper.

http://www.nbcstudiotour.com/ – NBC tour

http://www.topoftherocknyc.com/ – top of the rock

After all that I decide to head otu for lunch and my attention span for foo actually got smaller when I saw NINTENDO WORLD, I creamed my jeans, WiiU , Mario Kart 8, I want i all!!

Anyway after that went to Hell’s Kitchen for a drink and say I’ve been where Daredevil is set, COMIC FANBOY SCREAM. Itrs now evening and if you watch enough movies, you know you need to go to the below places at night for atmosphere and fantastical shots:

Time Square

Chrysler Building

Empire State Building

Grand Central

Photographers and nightlife lovers’ dream, just go you’ll enjoy it, no flash mob though 🙁

I have a list of 20 other things I want to do, so I need a twin, so I can have a telepathic link and just share half this list with and pretend I was there.

So to end that maniac day I thought I’d rest…… in a Rock Fusion nightclub in Brooklyn, clearly the magheritas and wine I had that night fuelled my need to live up to NYC “The city that never sleep”

And What I day to that is – Brown Bear 0 – NYC 1, as i managed to miss my early coach journey to Toronto after setting my alarm for 6PM not 6AM!! Oh well another day in New York and a 50 dollar loss, who cares 🙂

well guys there will be more in this section sometime soon, I need to rebook everything I missed, as I may be in my 30s aka as very late 20s and get another coach and hostel…. AGE WILL NEVER BEAT ME, JUST SLOW ME DOWN!